9/12 energy read

you could be in regret over something you benefited from losing but you were attached to. i feel this energy like missing your boyfriend who put his hands on you. you kinda don’t want to do life without this person/place/thing, possibly because its all you’ve ever known. but you don’t understand that the stagnancy you think you see ahead is actually what you had in the past and what they put you through. i’m thinking of that quote mocking women who are in bad relationships, where they say something like “where would i be without my man” and everyone thinks, “probably further in life.” this could also be a family dynamic.

these people were keeping you hidden. they knew how special you were so they needed you to be close so they could make sure you weren’t being special enough to garner attention or make something substantial of your life i hear so clearly. this could’ve even been someone who hated your love life, whether this is a partner or not, because you have people who like you, are affectionate and can shower you with love and attention. this person could literally be married but be mad at you for having a boyfriend because he could romance you for a year better than this person’s 20 year relationship for example. they just have tenure and possibly more than you but they’re mad your little shit has sincerity, which they severely lack. school could be significant, so if this is a classmate or a parent who is always or has recently asked about school.

i also think you’ve downplayed lovers or opportunities because of this person, or delayed it until you were in a different place in life. if there is an opportunity that is displayed to you soon take it. this person has been fucking with your mind to make you feel like “love can’t be that great” or “i’m not in a place physically/financially/emotionally to be in a relationship” when whole time this person would love your socks off. just dont be complacent about what is right for you because this person has traumatized you when you know you’re looking at the right thing for you. if there was a perfect time, its not when life is perfect, its now. God will only reveal things to you when you’re ready to handle them.